The Charlie Chaplin Rule

Much of the criticism of mail order brides comes from the vast age differences between Western men and their Eastern European (or Asian) brides.

To be sure, men are stupid when it comes to young women. Or any women for that matter.

We sign up for an international dating site, and instantly we are wowed by beautiful women half our age who are dying to meet us.

Yeah. Right.

At age 63, there’s no way a Ukrainian teenager is interested in me, unless something is seriously wrong with her. On the other hand, a Filipina, or young woman from Vietnam, could be deadly serious.

You have to know your own desires, and the culture of your prospective bride.

Years ago when I was a Vice Consul in Manila, I approved visas for a 17 year old with a 76 year old husband, and a 25 year old woman with a 82 year old man. Both were good marriages. The 25 year old had children with her husband.

Everyone and his brother has written about “appropriate” age differences between Western men and mail order brides. Take all opinions with a grain of salt. Even mine.

Here are my rough opinions as to the best age for women that my 63 year old ass might attract:

For Caucasian women, the most beautiful women reside in the Ukraine. Kharkiv must have something in the water that creates stunning beauties that, god knows why, consider you a good catch.

That said, I wouldn’t trust a young “Russian” woman as far as I can spit. The mail order bride sites in the Ukraine are a cesspool of scams designed to lure men into the web and drain their bank accounts. You can get direct access to How to Protect Yourself From International Marriage Scams here. Knowledge is power.

Normal age differences in the Ukraine would run about 5 – 10 years. I would feel comfortable going 20 years younger. I have a typical male ego that says no 40 year old woman is too young for me. You have to make your own decision.

As to women in Southeast Asia, go as young as you want. I’m not sure I would want to date or marry any woman in Vietnam, Thailand, or the Philippines over the age of 30. You can bet that women from these countries will want to become mothers if they do not have children already.

If you are done with diapers and sleep deprivation, you may want to look for older brides-to-be in Eastern Europe or Latin America. China also falls in this category. You can find “Leftover Ladies” in their late 30s, or divorcees in their 40s, that look years younger and who make incredible wives.

Bottom line: Find the woman who meets your needs, but know the risk.